I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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