turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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