He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
