Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
a search helicopter?!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
