In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
