So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
