i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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