maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
