i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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