I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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