just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
