I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
