Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
