They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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