How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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