you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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