I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
