I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
