If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
