If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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