So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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