i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
