I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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