dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
