When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
