I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
