Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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