The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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