so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
