my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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