Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
