Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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