Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
