I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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