yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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