Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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(347): View more from New York

you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

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(626): View more from California

I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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(906): View more from Michigan

How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days

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