they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.