i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.