dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice