Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

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(908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l

Replies (33) Good night (1404) Bad night (5338)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter

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(732): i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter http://tfl.nu/90no

Replies (15) Good night (5771) Bad night (1179)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5

Replies (8) Good night (4909) Bad night (1405)
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(435): View more from Utah

She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.

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(435): She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/8hnp

Replies (29) Good night (7087) Bad night (1139)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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(570): I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around. (1-570): It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am. http://tfl.nu/ckp3

Replies (8) Good night (4961) Bad night (1199)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.

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(215): If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from. http://tfl.nu/hl9i

Replies (6) Good night (3571) Bad night (842)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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(919): I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process. (1-919): Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/dsex

Replies (3) Good night (4465) Bad night (1002)
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(810): View more from Michigan

We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.

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(810): We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock. http://tfl.nu/wrss

Replies (14) Good night (3513) Bad night (830)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance

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(919): Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance http://tfl.nu/6t4u

Replies (2) Good night (2252) Bad night (807)
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(415): View more from California

He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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(415): He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished http://tfl.nu/a96t

Replies (7) Good night (2542) Bad night (659)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman

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(505): But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman http://tfl.nu/b7v2

Replies (6) Good night (2092) Bad night (758)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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(712): Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision http://tfl.nu/by7d

Replies (9) Good night (1688) Bad night (759)
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(425): View more from Washington

Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.

(253): View more from Washington

You're lovely.

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(425): Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight. (253): You're lovely. http://tfl.nu/vx83

Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (394)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

YES. ALL MY YES.

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(513): I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries. (1-513): YES. ALL MY YES. http://tfl.nu/gvep

Replies (0) Good night (741) Bad night (308)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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(720): Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine http://tfl.nu/xw9t

Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (335)

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