I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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