I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
