3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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