id be glad to
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
did you just send me my own nude
I need a hoe opinion
go on
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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