He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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