I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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