READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
