please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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