God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
