but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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