I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
