I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
