so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
