doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize