apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize