I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
