what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
