She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
