i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize