my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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