BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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