Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
