Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
