I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
