My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
