my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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