im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my shit smells like andre
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
